The Shy Tile

Sorry folks but I seem to have been too busy or too lazy to Blog for a while.  My lovely Granddaughter Annie is over with us for a couple of weeks and that’s my excuse.  Sarah (her Mum) brought her out las Friday as she’s too young to fly on her own just yet.  She’d pass for fourteen but the Passport gives it away eh?

There is a Doggy Do in Emma’s Bar tonight – i.e. a fundraiser for the local doggy charity.  There are so many abandoned dogs over here it’s unbelievable.  The Spanish people are mostly a set of callous bastards when it comes to dog ownership – totally opposite to the average ex-pat.

I don’t feel much like going out as I have a severe dose of manflu.  I suppose I’ll manfully drag myself there and have a good time though.  Us men don’t let trivial things stop us enjoying ourselves eh?  (Comments welcome)

Apart from being callous the Spaniards are extremely jealous.  There was a burglary at the weekend about four streets away.  The burglar was disturbed and all he got away with was a wallet.  The guy whose wallet was nicked is called Jose (pronounced Hose A).  His Dad was a fireman and he has a twin brother called Hose B.

Anyway – Annie and Tegan (her little pal from across the road) were playing in the park on the Sunday and Annie found the abandoned wallet.  Tegan recognised Hose A from a photo inside the wallet and they excitedly ran to Hose A’s house to return the wallet, which incidentally still had the credit cards still in it.  Hose A was so delighted to be reunited with his property that he gave the girls a fucking biscuit each.  I wish I’d have been there.

This reminds me of a story from my London Underground days.  We had “litter-pickers” placed at the terminal stations and when the trains pulled in, they rushed on (have you ever seen Nigerians rush – it’s an awesome sight) to try to remove all the litter lift by the pigs who use the trains, before the train pulled out again.  They were not always 100% successful causing me much frustration.

The particular day in question, one of the litter-pickers (who happened to be Ukrainian) found an envelope containing £4,000 (about three months wages for him).  Being an honest chap, he handed it in to the Station Supervisor.  A short time later, a middle-aged lady (mutton dressed as lamb) came panting into the station to be told her money had been found.

This old bag then insisted on counting the money in front of the guy who had found it.  When the old twat was satisfied it was all there – she rewarded the Ukrainian with the princely sum of £1 which he gave back to her with a polite “no thank you”.  His employing company gave him £50 when they heard the story.  Don’t let anybody tell you that Yorkshire folks are tight.  We’re not tight – we just like value for money – and justice for all.

So then – to go back to the title of this article – The Shy Tile (or Shite Aisle really).  Aldi and Lidl have this aisle which usually runs the full length of the middle of the shop.  This aisle is full of shite and bargains.  I love it and think every supermarket should have one to amuse the husbands while the womenfolk carry on with the real work.  We know we’re only there as muscle.

My most recent purchase from the S/A (in Aldi) was a weed-digger-upperer which is about as big as a large screwdriver which forks at the end for you to position the weed in.  A must for everyone who has a rockery with cactusseses in.  Weeding round a cactus is tricky.  A great little tool for two and a half euros and every home should have one.

Buenos dias.

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About Stevie B

I retired to the sun in February 2010. I am far from bored but I do need an interest (preferably one that pays).
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