Unreliable Craftsmen

Hello all.

One of the reasons I fell in love with this wonderful, sloppy, sunny country was whilst on holiday over here.  We were staying on an urbanisation very similar to this one but about ten miles away.  The idea of the holiday was to “get a feel” of living here.  We’d already bought this house and were waiting for it to be built.

At the top of this particular street where we were “living” was a bloody great big hole in the pavement.  It was about two feet square and the same depth.  There were no cones around it.  There was no flapping red & white tape around the hole.  There was no sign in five different languages alerting you to the perils of falling down a hole.

If there had been a sign it would probably have said (in spanish only) –

“If you are daft enough to fall down this hole then you shouldn’t be out on your own”.

You have to admire and accept this fantastic attitude or you would go barmy.  If you’re on holiday and wanting to achieve something it’s very frustrating but when you live here you have to accept it.

Right then – to refer to the title…

When bought the house, we thought we could survive without having air-conditioning installed.  We were almost right.  After a couple of holidays spent melting in bed, we decided we needed A/C – at least in our bedroom.  We engaged a local craftsman – a Brummie actually who arrived on time and did an OK job.

We arrived permanently in winter of last year so last August was our first tester.  The A/C didn’t work so we had to get the local A/C expert to sort it.  It needed re-gassing – 40 Euros for half an hour.

This July was stinky hot so we again succumbed to switching the A/C on.  Same as last year – not blowing cold air.  This local expert – let’s call him Will Bilson – was encountered in Frankie and Louise’s (a local hostelry) where WB frequently frequents.  Ah Will – our A/C’s not working again.  Said Marian.  Will you fix it?  Och aye the noo – it shouldnae need re-gassing again.  There must be a leak.

Five minutes later I asked Will the same question.  Will, will ye fix oor aircon?  Och aye the noo, but I canna get to ye until next Wednesday.  Ye’ll no forget will ye?  Said I.  Och aye the noo, I willnae forget.

Next Wednesday came and went.  No Will.  Coincidentally, he came to do across the road on the Thursday to do a job.  Did ye forget Marian asked?  Och aye the noo, I did forget,  och aye.  I fucking knew you would I shouted out of the kitchen window whilst Marian was asking him politely.

He telt her he would be with us later that day or tomorrow afternuin.  Those two deadlines also past without a visit.  On the Sunday, he again visited the house across the road and sat staring at our house as he was drinking a cup of coffee.  It might have even been tea for all I know.  I don’t know if he had a biscuit but the lady is the type who would definitely have offered him a bun or a biscuit.  She’s lovely.

I carried some rubbish up to the bin and when I came back he’d disappeared inside.  Surely he’ll pop across the road when he’s done.  Och aye the noo he didnae.

That was over a month ago and we’re still waiting.  No we’re not – we asked a Spanish guy three times and he came straight away.  He fixed the leak which he discovered straight away – stayed about ninety minutes – charged us 120 euros – left a little mess – but the A/C is now working.

I wonder if Mr Bilson will eventually run out of customers?

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About Stevie B

I retired to the sun in February 2010. I am far from bored but I do need an interest (preferably one that pays).
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